When Love Is Gone
by Babylon By Candlelight
Summary: Alex knew she never should have woken up that morning. Still... it was better to end it than to keep living a lie. [One Shot, AU]


**_Disclaimer: _**I still don't own Degrassi. Otherwise, I'd have Lauren Collins shave her head for my amusement.

In my defense, I didn't mean to wake up that morning. Or, at least, I didn't mean to wake up and come to the conclusion I did. It was like any other morning. The alarm clock rang, I had to suppress the urge to hurl it against the wall, and I rolled over to look at the beautiful girl lying beside me. Unusually, I didn't smile, but instead crept out of bed into the bathroom before she claimed it.

I don't go through the beauty routine that she does. I couldn't care less about make-up, or what my hair looks like. As long as my face, hair, and clothes are all clean, I don't _have_ a beauty routine. I quickly ran a brush through my hair, pulled it up in a low pony-tail, put my traditional hoop earrings on, and found a clean tank top to match my jeans. There. _I _was ready for the day. Of course, Princess Paige would take at least two hours, which is why I insisted on getting her up at five o'clock, instead of a reasonable hour.

Luckily, by the time she stumbled out of her bedroom and into the bathroom, I was quite ready to leave. A sigh escaped my lips as I heard the shower run, and I made myself comfy in one of the beanbag chairs she kept in her room. It was going to be a _long_ hour and a half.

Forty-five minutes later, the blonde teenager had _finally_ gotten out of the shower, and was now caking on layers of make-up. And I had finally had enough. I marched into the bathroom, grabbed the foundation away from her, and chucked it in a drawer.

"You're beautiful without it, Paige. Can you even go for one day not hiding who you are?" I demanded. I wasn't sure why I was so irritated with her, but I wanted to take all the cosmetics away from her, throw them out, burn them, do _anything_ to make her be a real girl for a day.

My real irritation with the fake girl Paige paraded around daily had started two months ago when she had bought a pink and yellow sweater. It may not sound like much, but she hated that sweater. There were two reasons, however, that she had purchased it. One: it was the latest winter fashion. Two: Hazel told her she would be a social outcast if she did not buy it. I watched in horror as she squealed over the wool garment, even as utter loathing for it flashed through her eyes. I couldn't understand why she let the mainstream be so important to her. Why she just wouldn't buy the black and hot pink lace tank top she wanted, latest fashion be damned. It didn't seem _right_ to me, and though I'm not exactly a paragon of virtue or morality, I've at least never changed who I am to fit in.

It only got worse from there. The things I used to find endearing about Paige turned to annoyance. The way she pouted her lips when she wanted me to do something I didn't want to do turned from adorable to manipulative. The stupid nicknames, "Alexi" and "Lexi-bear" made me cringe, made me want to cry, "_My name is Alex. Al-ex. Use my damn name!" _I couldn't bring myself to be overtly mean to her, but she had begun to notice my shortened temper with her.

Paige was now looking expectantly at me, and I hadn't any idea what she just said. I found I didn't care much, either. Instead of asking her to repeat the statement, I just snapped, "We're going to be late to school again if you don't hurry up, _Princess_." The term I had used so teasingly, so affectionately, had grown cold in the last few months. Even I was surprised at how harsh I sounded, and quickly tried to make things better by gently tugging a lock of her hair, and kissing her forehead. "Come on," I said, more softly this time, "we need to get going."

After school, I didn't go back to her house. I had already realized what was going on. Now all that was left to do was talk about it. I called Paige, and asked her to meet me at the park that was only a few blocks from her house. It had begun to rain as we finally met up, her face smiling and so expectant of…of what, I didn't know. She began to speak.

"Alex, baby, I know what you're going to say, and it's all right. I forgive you for how you've been acting lately."

Wait… what?

"I know you've been stressed lately, and I can accept that," she continued, as I stared at her, my mouth slightly open. This was going to be harder than I thought. "And Lexi-bear, I know we're going to be okay, because I love you."

"Paige… I don't."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry Paige," I said softly, stepping away from her. I wished my voice would stop shaking so much, or that the look of hurt confusion would leave her beautiful eyes. "Paige… it's over. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry."

She stared at me for a few more seconds, before turning and running. I sighed, and sat down on the bench, my head in my hands as the rain poured over my raven hair.

I didn't mean to wake up this morning. And now, I wish I hadn't.


End file.
